Arshavin wants 4-4-2, not 4-5-1

If you ran a kitchen, and employed the 21st best chef in Europe, would you have him cut carrots?

No. So why is Andrei Arshavin – who, in the Ballon D’or vote, came 21st – stuck, sulking, on the left wing?

Because Arsene Wenger doesn’t trust Arsenal’s defence. Instead, he gives them a burly babysitter from Cameroon.

Would Wenger do that for Dixon-Adams-Keown-Winterburn? Would he do that for Lauren-Toure-Campbell-Cole? He wouldn’t, and he didn’t.

But, because Arsenal’s back four panics him, Wenger changed the formation. He sacrificed a centre-forward for a babysitter. He admitted he’d lost what he inherited in 1996.

Which means, of course, there’s no room for Arshavin. He’s not an on-the-shoulder striker, so doesn’t play up front. And he doesn’t play as the attacking midfielder, because Cesc Fabregas is captain, and Arsenal's best academy advert.

So Arshavin is shoved, like an unwanted guest at Christmas dinner, to the periphery. For him, left-wing is the torn, tatty kitchen chair, stuck on the corner. Fabregas, meanwhile, heads the table.

Arshavin could win games from the left-wing. At 5’4’, and with two good feet, he can dart inside or outside full-backs; under them and round them. He can score Goals of the Month from 30 yards – as he did at Old Trafford – or from five yards, as he did against Blackburn, last season.

But he doesn’t win games from the left-wing. Too often, he plays like he’s unhappy; wondering, like a schoolgirl in a tower block, what life’s like elsewhere.

So should Wenger drop 4-5-1, and play 4-4-2? It would mean Arshavin and Fabregas in the middle. Arshavin would get the ball more often; he’d score more often; he’d win games more often. He’d make sure he never played left-wing again.

Eduardo, or Carlos Vela, would have the help they need. Samir Nasri, Tomas Rosicky - or Jack Wilshere - could play left-wing.

Wenger, however, won’t play 4-4-2. Firstly, it would remove the back-four’s babysitter. Even with him, they’ve conceded 18 goals in 13 games – more than Birmingham, Fulham, and Stoke, for example.

Secondly – and more importantly – it would be an admission. By playing 4-4-2, Wenger would tell the world he was wrong. His omniscient halo would slip.

So Arsenal will, perhaps rightly, persevere with 4-5-1. But – at least until van Persie returns – isn’t it worth playing Europe’s 21st best player in his best position?

After all, someone else came 21st in that poll, joint with Arshavin. And Chelsea wouldn’t play Frank Lampard on the left-wing, would they?